I need answers/support after my baby dog died

indiindi Posts: 4Member
Hi guys I dunno if im posting to the right place or not and sorry for my sad story but I'm having trouble dealing with what happened I'm going to tell u everything I can in the hope some one can give me some better answers then my vet did so here it is... about 3 years ago today my dad sent me a message saying he was walking the dogs down the Bush track close to home and a puppy came over to him staving scared and alone he let it come home with him fed it and calmed it down it had seemed like this pup was dumped but we wernt sure so we went to every house we could think of and asked if this ur dog affter no luck we tryed Facebook and we went to the vet and checked for a micro chip again no luck so we waited to see if some1 seen the ads but after a few weeks nothing and by this stage I had feel in love with this dog for a 22 year old not sure what to do next in life and a little depressed because things wernt to great at that time I wanted to keep this dog but I had nowhere to live I was staying with friends rentin rooms and so on so I asked my dad can u look after it for awhile he said yes of course he did it's a puppy we called her ruby she was some kind of kelpie x staffy or something I'm still not sure what she was but she made me laugh so i didn't care she would wiggle around when i picked her up I loved it anyway after a month or so my dads patience was getting thin with this dog and I was still homeless so my dad decided to take her to the pound without telling me he would say stuff like I cant have this dog but I didn't think he would take her when this happened I lost it and some how got my dad to go back with a friend and get her back because he said she was lost so the mate was the fakeowner they gave the dog back luckly not long after I got a place so we had a home by this time we had noticed ruby is a little wobbly on her legs my dad had walked her off the lead and she hit her head pretty hard notsure if this is relevant or if it was hard enough to cause anydamage i wasn't there she was allways not watching were she was going she also had developed a skin condition so a vet visset was a must but I didn't have much money so i worried but I found vetpay a kind of after payment plan thing so i used this she had food allergies and a yeast infection in her ears so we got her fixed up with some meds and cream and stuff also got put on the hills zd deit very expensive stuff but ruby was worth it the vet told me it might be a neurological proplem I think it was she said I should just watch it and see if it gets worse or goto a specialist witch would cost thousands somthing I couldn't do she explaned this was somewhat of neglect i think Iwas just hoping for the best so i hoped she would be ok I dont know if this was the problem but i just want to let u guys know everything after the vet trip we went on to enjoy life to the fullest at about 1 and a half I had a scare while walking/playing with her she lost her ballance and put her head back and started yelping I got her in the car as fast as possible I with my mum I yelled and screamed for her to take us to the vet before we got there she came good it was kinda hot so I wanted to cool her down worried it was heat stroke we were just near the river so we stopped to give her a drink and a swim she seemed ok so i decided to take her home this would become my biggest regret in my life things were ok after that we walked a long walk every day cause she had more energy then she knew what to do with without the big walk we did lots of big walks and runs down the beach and even pretty long car rides she would be have trouble keeping her balance in the car as well as runing but she wouldn't let that stop her giving everything 120% life went on good for another year 2 days after my 25th birthday day I decided to take her for a play with my mum and dads dogs like I've done countless times we took them to a park and they had a awesome time I gave her drink not asmuch as id liked cause I couldn't find our portable bowl but she was pretty good a getting a drink from the tap then we hoped in the car me mum and ruby along with dax our jack Russell and indi my mini foxi shes about 16 years old wanted to get some milk and bread so I got mum to stop at the shops I ran in while mum waited with the dogs with all the windows down and the day wasn't a hot day and then we headed home but when we got there things went real bad I went to get out of the car a little faster then normal ruby had this issuie when you would leave the house or car she would chase u barking separation anxiety I gusse anyway as I got out the car she fell to her side and started shaking a little but had her eyes open looking at me just after that she put her head back and started yelping loudly I picked her up and rushed her out the back into her shell pool thinking it might help she was still struggling like she wanted me to put her down but as I opened the gate she stopped and before i put her in the warter i think she was gone this all happened in less then a minute as im screaming no no no my mum was trying to revive her It didn't help at all and I couldn't get a grip with my mouth around her long face to try mouth to mouth I couldn't get a air tight lock and my mum started saying shes gone shes dead so I just lost my best friend luckily my friends were around so they tryed to comfort me I know people will be thinking why didn't u rush to the vet but it happened so fast we wouldn't have made it there so I dont regret this I like to think I gave her some comfort in her last moments by having her in my arms and in a familiar place while trying to calm her down but freaking out at the same time  I know ur ment to try to be calm for ur dog but I couldnt be calm i was watching the thing I love the most die so then I called my parnter she was at work I told her the bad news and asked her to come home so she did snice Im renting I made the decision not to put her in the ground it didnt feel right so we took her to the vet after we both feel to the floor crying I felt like this needs to be done I gotta do the right thing for my baby dog one last time I got there and I wanted to know what happened so I tryed asking what I can do I never got to speak to a vet just the girls on the desk witch are the vet assistants or nurses or whatever the lady told me I could get a autopsy done but she says when it comes to stuff like this we cant guarantee u will get any aswers cause they cant check the dogs brain and really tell if it was a seizure or not or something like that i was in shock so it was hard to take everything in I decided to not get her cut up for a maybe so i left her body to get cremated I got her ashes back about 2 weeks l8ter we set he up a kind of shrine with the vase and all her things I like to say hello and stuff smell her food or what not but i cant stop asking my self did I kill my dog what happened? Did she not get enough warter maybe I shouldnt have took her out that day my girlfriend and freinds tell me I'm wroung and it was kinda a time bomb thing and there was no stopping it but I'm not so sure so I'm asking for help here this happened on the 29th of October she wasn't even 3 years old Ive tryed to move on I got a puppy to try start a new chapter and refill that thing that'missing I dont work I spent my days with ruby so im trying to re capture that happiness but it's not working and I'm having trouble doing every day stuff I'm also avoiding my freinds most the time and just find myself asking the same questions so I'm asking what u guys think this isnt my first dog nor first death I've delt with but it is the first time I've felt responsible 
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Comments

  • Sandy_Kramer_etcSandy_Kramer_etc BangorPosts: 108,969Member ✭✭✭✭✭
    I did not read it all..But I doubt it was heat stroke.... If your mom was in the car with her when you went into the store then she was probably not over heated.   It is possible that she hurt herself when she jumped out of the car, but that seems really quick.   It could have been heart attack if she was stressing or it might have been a seizure.   Try not to beat yourself up too much over it.    Most likely is was not something that you could have prevented.    I also feel guilt when one of mine passes at a young age with no apparent reason.  there have been a couple and without knowing the why you may always feel that guilt.   But as long as you know you did the best you could for them then there is really no reason for the guilt.  There is not much I can say that will make you feel better... but hope someday you will discover an answer.
      (* many many hugs... *)

    No Longer Lost BOL

    ....................
    Sandy aka Thumper
    Sandy's Archived page
    .
    We celebrate my birthday and Gotcha Day on Jan 3 though we do not know when I was born

    ...................
    Kramers-Corner
    Kramer's Archived page
    .
    We celebrate my birthday and Gotcha Day on Jan 3 though we do not know when I was born

  • indiindi Posts: 4Member
    Thanks sandy a update after some research I believe my ruby had a seizure caused from nexgard even the FDA has put out a warning if any1 reading this doesn't believe me do ur own research check out the Facebook group does nexgard kill dogs? But I'm most likely talking to my self because this site is dead asf or just full of rude ppl that jus veiw ur posts for there own satifation  :'(
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